No matter what type of relationship it is, professional or personal, it is still considered a relationship. Some key facts to remember are:
“When you are in a relationship with a person who takes more than they are willing to give, what appears to be fair to you is just an illusion.”
Self-serving people do not believe in equality. They do not practice fairness. They feel like the world owes them and it should be grateful they are here. Actually, they live in a different world than ours, where everything is given to them with little or no effort or gratitude, and that is the way it should be in their mind. They will put in great efforts to make this fictitious world of theirs a reality. We all have to put in a degree of effort to achieve balance in our lives. The truth is, in the real world, it would require too much work for self-serving people to earn what they desire. It is much easier for them to walk around living a lie and telling a lie than it is for them to face the truth.
Dependability is not an important factor for the person who is self-serving in a relationship. You may not recognize so in the beginning, because they are trying to gain your trust by imitating the kind of person whom you are attracted to. They are also inspired by their idea of gaining what they want if they pretend to be someone they are not. After a while, you will start to see flaws in their behavior when it comes to them being dependable. You will notice more and more excuses for why they cannot do the things they did in the beginning. This is because they feel they have you wrapped around their little finger. You will also start to see them lacking on their part for what they are supposed to be contributing, hoping you will pick up their slack. The whole idea is for you to be the one who winds up doing all the giving while they do nothing but reap the benefits.
Do not waste time trying to save someone that does not want to be saved. The best thing you can do for that person is to be supportive, but not at the expense of becoming their savior, judge, or prosecutor. If you associate yourself long enough around someone who refuses to do better, either one of two things will happen: either they will have you thinking like them or they will drag you down with them. Remember: misery loves company, and you are no exception.
“When you are in a relationship with a person who hates explaining themselves, chances are they can’t remember all of their lies.”
Think about it. If someone asks you to tell the truth, it takes no effort at all to recall all the facts. If you told a lie, you will have to concentrate on what you have already said in order for it to make sense with what you are asked to explain at the present time. This is too much work, and too risky. The liar is bound to be exposed once they start trying to explain what they want you to think is the truth.
“When you are in a relationship with a person who cannot control their emotions, it is a sign of immaturity.”
Immature people do not make good partners. Have you ever tried to console a child when they are having a temper tantrum? It is nearly impossible. They want what they want and will go to no ends to get what they want. Period. There is no negotiating until they get all that screaming and carrying on out of their system. Now, apply that same concept to an adult. With a child, the fear of being punished by their parents for their behavior keeps them somewhat under control. With an adult, they have no fear of that because it does not apply. If an immature person does not want to be held responsible, they won’t. In fact, they avoid responsibility at all costs. You now have an out-of-control adult with no limits as to how far they will go to get what they want.
(to be continued)
© 2013 Learus Ohnine