I just want to take a moment to explain this statement. The word “walls” in reference to this statement means the invisible walls we put up around our hearts and minds. If we break down the general definition of the word, a wall is basically a solid mass used in many ways to protect, to connect, to enclose, to strengthen, and to defend. Buildings are infamous for containing walls for those obvious reasons, and also because they represent a sense of permanency. However, when the term “wall” is used when pertaining to people, it still serves the same purpose as it does in the literal sense… except for the permanency part.
But let’s face it… none of us are born with walls already placed around our hearts and minds. Walls are not genetic. We put those walls up ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously, because of some sort of dilemma we were faced with at some point in our lives. Consciously, we have strategically place them in areas where we are most vulnerable in order to keep from having to face the same dilemmas again. Unconsciously, we place them in areas where we are most vulnerable also, but are only aware they are there when faced with a familiar dilemma.
How to tell the difference between a conscious wall and an unconscious one?
One obvious difference is a conscious wall is built deliberately. A conscious wall coincides with purposeful avoidance. We want to alleviate any possible chances of feeling hurt, disappointment, angry, betrayed, injured, etc., so this kind of wall protects and encloses us from getting involved in situations that we feel will result in feeling certain emotions. They serve as a constant reminder to avoid situations whose criteria spells “injury to my well-being”. An unconscious wall is one that is not deliberately built, but is more or less triggered by a familiar event where our conscious mind takes over and says “Hey wait, this seems familiar. Even though all the facts are right there that this could be a great opportunity, let’s not take this chance again because it’s better to be safe than sorry.” So basically, an unconscious wall is an oblivious defense mechanism only triggered by the familiarity of a situation connected with a past catastrophic event.
The difference between the two types of walls is… one of them was made to be broken.
Can you tell which one?
(To be continued…)
© 2013 Learus Ohnine