“You have attracted the attention of one of the most wonderful people on the planet… or so it seems. He/She initially swept you off your feet with what appears to be a deep concern for your well-being along with their impeccable amount of attention focused on every aspect of your life, the past, present, and future. He/She seems so interested in getting to know you. They constantly praise you for your achievements, accomplishments and pending goals. They have a profound interest in your past relationships as well as your past in general. If you are a parent, they will offer advice that seems harmless and flawless, because after all, they appear to have such expertise in anything and everything they speak about. To you, they are flawless; you both have the same standards, morals, and principles. You cannot believe just how lucky you are to actually have someone like this person walk into your life at the right moment. They are such a charmer, and every word they speak sounds so sincere. The amount of ease this person makes you feel is incredible.
(However, something still just does not seem right, but you cannot quite put your finger on what it is…)
As time moves on, you begin to notice little glitches in their words. They hop from subject to subject quicker than a flame can burn through a plastic bag. They seem scattered in the way they think. “Oh they just have some problems like they told me”, you say to yourself. You start thinking with a little more support and understanding, you can help them cope with their problems they once stated they have. All they need is to know they have someone in their corner no matter what, and so you declare your concern for helping them. You want to make it clear to this person they are not alone.
(And then the nightmare begins…)
You two have just finished an ordinary conversation on the telephone like usual. They tell you about their day; you tell them about yours. They tell you about some goals they have, and you share yours with them as well. Within the discussion, they tell you they think it is a great idea that the two of you work together in helping each other meet those goals. They mention a few plans they have in mind that they would like to do with you, and you willing agree to them without a second thought. You confess how happy they have made you, they express how happy they are to have found someone like you, and they cannot wait for the moment to come when you two start your adventures together. Now, you both have something to look forward to… or so you think…
You decide to call this person back a little while later to share a new thought on your joint up-and-coming adventures. As soon as they answer, you cannot believe your ears. They sound totally different about the adventures as they did before. They seem less interested before you even get a chance to speak. They lack the same enthusiasm as they showed before. “How can this person change so quickly?” you may ask yourself. This makes you curious as to why the sudden change in attitude, but you do not question it, and certainly do not want to question them for fear of losing them. After all, they told you most of the relationships they were in dissolved because they were sick of being questioned. Instead, you make excuses for them as to why they could be acting this way instead of finding out the truth for yourself.
(“The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.” Proverbs 14:11)
The following day, you notice there is less and less enthusiasm from the person about your day, your thoughts, your life, and your problems which this person seemed so eager to find solutions to up until this point. In fact, you find yourself doing all the contacting with this person whereas they used to contact you non-stop. You think to yourself maybe this is not a good day for them as they begin to make you feel as if you are bothering them, and so you wait. They contact you the next day. You suddenly notice changes in their personality and conflicting stories, standards, morals, and principles with the ones they have previously told you before. You think to yourself again “Oh they just have some problems they need to work out like they said”, but deep down, a part of you begins to wonder what is really going on…”
Self-deception; when you are deceived, you do not know you are deceived. This trait in you is like seventh heaven to a sociopath…
Before I go any further, let me explain what a sociopath really is. A sociopath, or psychopath, is a person with a serious mental illness that can easily go undetected by the untrained and inexperienced eye. To put it politely, the person suffers from what is defined in medical terms as an “antisocial personality disorder”. Please note I use the term “suffer” lightly in the context of that sentence. The term “antisocial personality disorder” originated by the acts of the sociopath that is socially unacceptable. They have no guilt, no remorse, and no shame for what they do to people. They are aware they have this personality disorder, yet, they care nothing about the destruction they cause in the lives of innocent people because of it. They have a total disregard for the truth, and this is why they need someone “foolish” enough to deceive themselves by making excuses for the sociopath’s behavior as well as be willing to be deceived by them.
When a sociopath talks about their childhood (that is IF they tell the truth about it), these people usually give you a clue they may be a sociopath. One clue is the mentioning of brutally torturing animals until they die. Pay attention to their facial expression as they recall such horrendous acts; their face will light up like a child’s on Christmas morning. The thoughts and sights of inflicting pain on a poor defenseless creature excites them to no end. Do not be confused with a childhood act of squashing bugs or riding the family dog like it is a horse. This goes way beyond that. We are talking inflicting severe unbearable pain on animals that scream and bleed until they die, such as cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, goats, birds, and even frogs. Do not be surprised if a sociopath has these animals as pets as an adult; they do want to give you the impression they are a peace-and-nature loving human being. However, do be surprised if these animals suddenly come up missing without a logical cause or reason, especially after they have expressed such desires to have the pet to begin with. This evil desire to watch an animal cry out in agony until it dies does not go away as the sociopath becomes an adult; they only move on to “bigger and better things”, or in other words, more self-fulfilling things. That desire to harm is still there, only now as an adult that desire has evolved into torturing people.
Confusion is a form of torture: it is mental torture. It is much easier for the sociopath to get away with deception if you are confused. But, in order for them to cause confusion, they first have to gain control; control over your emotions. Control, to them, equals power. They do this by charming the light sockets off of you. They agree with everything you agree with. They believe in everything you believe in. They like everything you like. It is not until they know they have won you over is when they start their confusion game. Once the game begins, you will slowly start to see the sociopath within them emerge. It will be an adventure like none other that you will never forget…
(To be continued)
© 2013 Learus Ohnine