The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 1)

“You have attracted the attention of one of the most wonderful people on the planet… or so it seems. He/She initially swept you off your feet with what appears to be a deep concern for your well-being along with their impeccable amount of attention focused on every aspect of your life, the past, present, and future. He/She seems so interested in getting to know you. They constantly praise you for your achievements, accomplishments and pending goals. They have a profound interest in your past relationships as well as your past in general. If you are a parent, they will offer advice that seems harmless and flawless, because after all, they appear to have such expertise in anything and everything they speak about. To you, they are flawless; you both have the same standards, morals, and principles. You cannot believe just how lucky you are to actually have someone like this person walk into your life at the right moment. They are such a charmer, and every word they speak sounds so sincere.  The amount of ease this person makes you feel is incredible. 

(However, something still just does not seem right, but you cannot quite put your finger on what it is…)

As time moves on, you begin to notice little glitches in their words. They hop from subject to subject quicker than a flame can burn through a plastic bag. They seem scattered in the way they think. “Oh they just have some problems like they told me”, you say to yourself. You start thinking with a little more support and understanding, you can help them cope with their problems they once stated they have. All they need is to know they have someone in their corner no matter what, and so you declare your concern for helping them. You want to make it clear to this person they are not alone. 

(And then the nightmare begins…)

You two have just finished an ordinary conversation on the telephone like usual. They tell you about their day; you tell them about yours. They tell you about some goals they have, and you share yours with them as well. Within the discussion, they tell you they think it is a great idea that the two of you work together in helping each other meet those goals. They mention a few plans they have in mind that they would like to do with you, and you willing agree to them without a second thought. You confess how happy they have made you, they express how happy they are to have found someone like you, and they cannot wait for the moment to come when you two start your adventures together. Now, you both have something to look forward to… or so you think…

You decide to call this person back a little while later to share a new thought on your joint up-and-coming adventures. As soon as they answer, you cannot believe your ears. They sound totally different about the adventures as they did before. They seem less interested before you even get a chance to speak. They lack the same enthusiasm as they showed before. “How can this person change so quickly?” you may ask yourself. This makes you curious as to why the sudden change in attitude, but you do not question it, and certainly do not want to question them for fear of losing them. After all, they told you most of the relationships they were in dissolved because they were sick of being questioned. Instead, you make excuses for them as to why they could be acting this way instead of finding out the truth for yourself.

(“The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.” Proverbs 14:11)

The following day, you notice there is less and less enthusiasm from the person about your day, your thoughts, your life, and your problems which this person seemed so eager to find solutions to up until this point. In fact, you find yourself doing all the contacting with this person whereas they used to contact you non-stop. You think to yourself maybe this is not a good day for them as they begin to make you feel as if you are bothering them, and so you wait. They contact you the next day. You suddenly notice changes in their personality and conflicting stories, standards, morals, and principles with the ones they have previously told you before. You think to yourself again “Oh they just have some problems they need to work out like they said”, but deep down, a part of you begins to wonder what is really going on…”

Self-deception; when you are deceived, you do not know you are deceived. This trait in you is like seventh heaven to a sociopath…

Before I go any further, let me explain what a sociopath really is. A sociopath, or psychopath, is a person with a serious mental illness that can easily go undetected by the untrained and inexperienced eye. To put it politely, the person suffers from what is defined in medical terms as an “antisocial personality disorder”. Please note I use the term “suffer” lightly in the context of that sentence. The term “antisocial personality disorder” originated by the acts of the sociopath that is socially unacceptable. They have no guilt, no remorse, and no shame for what they do to people. They are aware they have this personality disorder, yet, they care nothing about the destruction they cause in the lives of innocent people because of it. They have a total disregard for the truth, and this is why they need someone “foolish” enough to deceive themselves by making excuses for the sociopath’s behavior as well as be willing to be deceived by them.

When a sociopath talks about their childhood (that is IF they tell the truth about it), these people usually give you a clue they may be a sociopath. One clue is the mentioning of brutally torturing animals until they die. Pay attention to their facial expression as they recall such horrendous acts; their face will light up like a child’s on Christmas morning. The thoughts and sights of inflicting pain on a poor defenseless creature excites them to no end. Do not be confused with a childhood act of squashing bugs or riding the family dog like it is a horse. This goes way beyond that. We are talking inflicting severe unbearable pain on animals that scream and bleed until they die, such as cats, kittens, dogs, puppies, goats, birds, and even frogs. Do not be surprised if a sociopath has these animals as pets as an adult; they do want to give you the impression they are a peace-and-nature loving human being. However, do be surprised if these animals suddenly come up missing without a logical cause or reason, especially after they have expressed such desires to have the pet to begin with. This evil desire to watch an animal cry out in agony until it dies does not go away as the sociopath becomes an adult; they only move on to “bigger and better things”, or in other words, more self-fulfilling things. That desire to harm is still there, only now as an adult that desire has evolved into torturing people.

Confusion is a form of torture: it is mental torture. It is much easier for the sociopath to get away with deception if you are confused. But, in order for them to cause confusion, they first have to gain control; control over your emotions. Control, to them, equals power. They do this by charming the light sockets off of you. They agree with everything you agree with. They believe in everything you believe in. They like everything you like. It is not until they know they have won you over is when they start their confusion game. Once the game begins, you will slowly start to see the sociopath within them emerge. It will be an adventure like none other that you will never forget…

(To be continued)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

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28 thoughts on “The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 1)

  1. Pingback: The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 2) | Learus Ohnine - "Walls Were Made To Be Broken"

  2. This is horrifying.

    I’ve told you before about my father. In the 80’s, he was actually diagnosed as a sociopath by the state mental hospital psychiatrists.

    We grew up hearing stories of my dad as a child, tying cats tails together, throwing over a clothes line and setting them on fire. He would also torture in other ways that he was happy to describe to us. The earliest age that I remember ME being when I first started hearing these things was around 5. My dad acted as if we were crazy if we didn’t laugh. I would cry because I loved animals and he would slap me. He was mortified that we didn;t think he was the funniest man on earth. My brothers learned to laugh at his stories but I never did. Eventually, when I was in my teens, I asked him what on earth made him think that was funny. He told me that they were “just cats” and there were too many of them. He almost made it sound like the cat enjoyed being tortured. I couldn;t understand then, why HE didn’t understand how wrong this was.

    Later in life, he began to torture humans. Actually, that’s not even true. He started torturing black people when he was a young man. But again, black people weren;t human to him and he made it sound as if they enjoyed being tortured because they KNEW they deserved it. Later, it didn;t matter what color of skin his victims had.

    These were things that were just a normal day for us.

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    • Yes I do remember about your father. I am speechless right now. Your recollection of your nightmarish ordeal with a sociopath as a child is chilling. Thank you so much for the courage to recollect it all in order to tell it. Your description of your father’s sadistic idea of humor has spawned me to write about yet another important point about sociopaths in more details.

      Please, by all means, please share more of your story. Your bravery is commendable. It is stories like this that helps spread the word in making other victims aware that its okay to reach out for help and be heard, because they are not alone…

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    • Yikes. I married one, had two children with him, a home and a successful business. Although most of his issues were small during our 7yrs together they progressed from control to abuse over time. It didn’t take me long to leave once he became abusive. [and I have never had another abusive relationship since]

      Who knew that leaving him would set off his worst behavior towards me. He’s in jail and I had to leave Australia and come back to the US to escape him. He stalked me and tried to kill me on my front doorstep. He has all the classic signs. The biggest is their lack of empathy. Sociopaths lack empathy.

      I delineate sociopathy and psychopathy as the former hasn’t murdered, once they do they enter psychopathy. The ex was never charged with his crimes against me. After 6 years in the US he finally dated again, his next victim put up with a lot too. When she escaped she set a trap for him that has him in jail to this day.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for sharing your story. Glad to know you made it out alive. Both psychopaths and sociopaths hate to lose control; possibly the reason for your ex-husband’s tyrannical responses when you left him. It takes an overwhelming amount of bravery to leave this sort of situation. Very praiseworthy.

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  3. Thank you. Truly. I wish I could tell you all the stories so you could keep writing specific stories of your own. I’m struggling to know where even to begin. Something you’ve said may trigger a specific memory, like the animals being tortured. Mostly I try NOT to think of it all. I’ve dealt with it all in therapy MANY times but it never goes away, for real. Looking forward to reading what you’ve written!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I thank you with all sincerity for sharing the parts of your story that you already have shared. I know it is painful to dredge up those memories, so please do not push yourself too hard to do so. I do understand how the feelings behind those memories feels like they will never go away, but believe me they will. By “reprogramming” your psyche in the same way is was negatively programmed, those memories will eventually fade to black… 🙂

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  4. Pingback: The lessons I learned from my sociopath… | And That's All She Wrote!

  5. Pingback: The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 1) | Learus Ohnine – “Walls Were Made To Be Broken” | Through a Rose Tinted Lens

  6. I read every word you write and it is as you were spying us. I am trying to finish a three year “relationship” with the real life Pinocchio…trying to give all this confusion and chaos a proper understanding came only when I was able to understand that there are people without hearts, without conscience, without emphaty…they look as human beings, but inside them they just bave a hollow space..

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  8. I saw your comment on an article online and thought I’d check it out. It’s amazing how many people have dealt with this situation. I just got out of an 18 year marriage with a sociopath (with DID) and she’s utterly destroyed my life and keeps winning every day. You can find my story at: http://jayrbee.wordpress.com/ . I’m trying to write a book on it, but I got sidetracked on the bigger details, because I REALLY want the truth out there….even if no one sees it! BTW, nice blog…I just started mine and it’s kind of plain.

    Liked by 1 person

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