The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 3)

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“You find yourself totally and completely falling in love with this person as time moves on. However, there is something erratic about their behavior that you cannot quite put your finger on, but your intuition is telling you something is not quite right. One day, they seem like the life of the party around you; cheerful, helpful, entertaining and radiant in your presence. But the next day, they may verbally state that they hate your guts for no apparent reason at all.

You may even notice them acting this way throughout an entire day; elated one minute, extremely hostile the next. Even when you two have had hardly any contact with each other at all, this behavior is still exhibited by them without cause or reason from your point of view.

So you decide to ask them what you did to upset them so much, but they cannot answer with a direct answer. They beat around the bush, they play games, they use sarcasm at inappropriate moments, they try distracting you from focusing on the question, and they may even play the ‘surrender role’ by stating things like ‘whatever you think the answer is’ or ‘take a guess why I’m acting this way’. The more you try to get to the bottom of the problem, the more they try to avoid telling the truth…“

Truth: something the sociopath fears because:                                

  • With truth comes exposure…
  • With exposure comes clarity…
  • With clarity come closure…
  • With closure comes liberation.

Some say the sociopath has no fears because they have no conscious. That is not true. The sociopath fears being exposed for what and who they really are. It does not bother their conscious when they lie to you, cheat on you, steal from you, etc., but one thing that does torment their conscious is the fear of the mask that they wear in public will be ripped off and the sociopath in them will be revealed. When you know the truth of what (and who) it is you are dealing with, you are able to clearly see which direction you should go: to stay or to leave. Not only do you know which direction you should go, you also know if further attention concerning your safety needs to be addressed (sociopaths despise “losing” at their games and think nothing of getting revenge so they can feel like they have “won”).

Believe it or not, the sociopath does not want you to leave, at least not until they know without a reasonable doubt that they have another victim lined up to take your place immediately after your departure. The sociopath is satisfied with you as long as you are serving their needs and believing their lies; it is when they think you are starting to catch on to their lies is when they begin to panic and will start looking for another unsuspecting victim as a backup plan for their goals. In fact, some sociopaths will try to maintain two relationships at once, thereby always having a victim to rely on for their needs.

As long as the sociopath can keep you blinded to important facts about the relationship, they have control over how you live your life, your peace of mind and your sense of self. Remember: they need to “feed” on the fears, the wants, and the needs of others in order to feel like they have a sense of power and control.  This is why they were so charming in the beginning so they could win your undivided affection and trust. It is no wonder why their erratic behavior is so baffling since they seemed so sincere at first, and also the main reason why they try to avoid having to answer for their monstrous behavior in the end… because they are terrified of being exposed.

(to be continued…)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

28 thoughts on “The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 3)”

  1. I had the unfortunate incident of encountering and marrying a sociopath. I discovered what he truly was about a year into our relationship. I was able to track down 4-5 of his previous victims and identify the parasitic pattern. It was a horrifying revelation. Your post is 200% correct. They do not stop. I only hope that exposure of the truth will raise awareness for other people that may fall prey.

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    • Thank you for visiting and sharing your story. I’m so sorry you had to go through your ordeal, but do remember it takes a strong woman like yourself to search for answers, to emotionally get through such a thing, and the will power to not fall back into his arms again. If you have any questions about recovery, please feel free to write at Learus09@yahoo.com anytime. Take great care of yourself and please visit again 🙂

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  2. I found you from the Opinionated man. Wow. This is going to be painful yet interesting. I was raised by a sociopath. I think there’s a misconception that sociopath’s can’t be lovable. That’s not true, as I’m sure you know. Children of sociopaths typically love their parents. That love can destroy them though.

    I look forward, with a little bit of trepidation, to reading more of what you have to share.

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    • Thank you for visiting. Actually, sociopaths are the way they are for various reasons, and some really do feel as if they are unlovable and behave accordingly. This is really a very touchy subject for me to cover; it is quite disturbing to accept the fact that there are people in the world like this. However, it is a subject that seems to be forbidden to discuss no matter how detrimental it needs to be brought out into the limelight. Hope all is well in your life at the moment. Thank you for sharing part of your experience. Please feel free to share more on this subject if you like 🙂

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      • Thank you. I could write a book of my own based on my own experiences and I’ve covered very little in my own blog. You’re right, it makes people uncomfortable and most can’t believe these things really happen. Even in therapy, they’re reluctant to go into a sociopathic mind. I wonder if it’s because they either don’t believe what you’re telling them or they aren’t trained? I’ve given up trying to make anyone understand. In my own life, my father is the sociopath. He feels like he’s completely deserving of love because of all he thinks he’s done for people. Someone could do the same little thing for him and it would never be enough. He feels that by his mere existence, the world owes him something. Everything that happens in this world is somehow directly related to him. I wish I had better words to describe it. Like I said, it would take a book.

        Thank you for caring and I, for one appreciate your covering this subject. I wish there had been more for me to read when I was younger. One of my brothers is dead as a direct result of what happened to us at my fathers hands. The other brother is so terribly affected that I’m not sure he’ll ever really be able to feel joy in his lifetime. He’s in his mid forties now. As for me, currently, I’m fine. Affected but fine. I’m the oldest one of us and I had to stay sane and fine for the others. I CAN see and feel joy.

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        • Oh my, I am so sorry you had to go through your experience, especially the tragic end of your brother. Do know there is hope in helping your other brother come to terms with all that has happened to him. As long as there is breath in his body, it’s never too late…

          I also want to say thank you ever so much for sharing your story on this matter. It really is a very sensitive subject to discuss, and I do hope one day you find it in your heart to write a book or some other form of media to express all that has happened to you. Think of it as theraputic, because it definitely will be…

          Speaking of therauptic, therapists have only recently been able to cover this topic because it is very hard to get into a sociopathic mind. They elude important questions, play mind games with the therapist, and are resistant to any effective form of treatment for themselves. It is a fact that very few sociopaths will admit they have a problem since they generally only see the world from their eyes and their eyes only. I believe it is for this reason why therapist only skim the surface when it comes to covering the topic because they do not want to pass on the same inaccurate information the sociopath has given them. Unfortunately, the only way to get the real truth about how sociopaths operate is through experience. I’m so glad you made it out alive to tell your story.

          Thank you kindly for visiting, and I hope to see you here again in the future. Please consider writing that book. 🙂

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          • Oh Thank you, again. You’ve helped me by showing me what therapists go through when encountering a sociopath. I’ve been told that but it helps to hear it again. I know it’s hard to sift through information given by a sociopath. The world IS their problem. You’re right. They’re never the ones with a problem.

            You’re also right about my living brother. As long as I’m alive, I’ll continue trying to show him love. He’s got an amazing wife, who is a psychologist, btw… lol and 3 beautiful daughters. He finds love in them, as much as he’s able. In fact, I’ve asked my niece, who’s a VERY good writer to write my story. It might be hitting a little close to home though because it seems too painful for her to hear the stories.

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            • So wonderful to hear about your living brother! Trying to live a normal life after dealing with a sociopath is difficult, but your brother is proof it can be done! 🙂

              I have to say it is very difficult even for me to write these kind of articles, so I can only imagine how your niece feels. However, once you see your entire story in its entirety, you will feel a sense of relief. And closure too, I might add. 🙂

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  3. I dated one of these for only a month–and that was too long. I discovered more about what “felt wrong” after I broke up with him. He must not have been a very “good” sociopath since it didn’t take me that long to figure out, but man was I relieved to escape.

    Thanks for sharing.

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    • Thank you for visiting. From my experience, when it is too easy to figure one out, usually it means they use sociopathy to meet some sort of survival need, to replace something they depended on that was suddenly ripped out of their lives. I could be wrong of course since my interpretation is only based on the few I have observed. Glad you were able to escape unharmed. Some are not that lucky. Thanks for reading, and please feel free to share more of your story if you like 🙂

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  4. Once I read about managers being the same as sociopaths; they’re smooth talkers, they lie and cheat, are narcissistic and seem without feelings or extremely sensitive, they seem to have the best in mind for you and so on… 😉

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  6. Pingback: The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 4) | Learus Ohnine - "Walls Were Made To Be Broken"

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