Something to think about: “Walls were Made to be Broken” (part 4) The Demolition Process

Hopefully by now, you have uncovered which walls need your immediate attention and which walls do not. I would suggest beginning the demolition process on any wall that is causing an immediate hindrance to your daily living, such as anything that is interfering with your peace of mind. Nothing compares to enjoying life with a healthy state of mind. Remember – you only get one life; it is better to make the most of the time you have to spend on this earth than to waste it and regret it later.

So on to the demolition…

The demolition process basically starts off following the same procedures for both Conscious and Unconscious Walls. The only difference is the amount of time it takes to completely destroy them. That time is determined by factors such as when that wall was placed there and who put it there. For example: an Unconscious Wall that has been built by an authority figure, such as a parental figure, a lover, or whomever you have depended on for emotional support and approval, may take years to demolish simply because it has been ingrained inside your heart and mind as a necessity for survival. Let’s say, for instance, a child who grows up in an environment that is unsympathetic and is full of callousness may have had to learn to adapt to that kind of situation by becoming so thick-skinned that they do not know how to love or be loved. They reject anyone who comes across as caring and sympathetic, or the total opposite, because they do not recognize that real love and are only receptive to people who resemble the authority figures of the environment they have grown up in. They will recreate their childhood environment because that IS their comfort zone. It may take years before this person can make a successful personal transformation, but it is not impossible.

So let’s begin with a less challenging wall to destroy: the Conscious Wall. Just a quick recall, a Conscious Wall is one that is derived from a realistic fear stemmed from an illogical belief. Examples of this would be along the lines of stereotyping: ALL marriages end in divorce, ALL blondes are dimwitted, ALL males are cheaters, and ALL women are not as intelligent as a man, and so on. Plenty can be said about the stereotyping of gender, sexual preference, and races but I will not get too deep into those details. When stereotype a person, place or thing, we will react to them according to what we feel is appropriate, and that includes avoidance. Keep in mind it is healthy and wise to avoid something or someone we know for a fact is not in our best interest. However, stereotyping is not based on facts. Stereotyping is based on opinion and does not necessarily mean one part applies to the whole, if you catch my drift.

But how do we debunk any hypothetical stereotyping beliefs we may have?

Get out there and find out for yourself. Be realistic; nobody is perfect. We all have flaws, hang-ups, etc., but is that not what makes us all unique? None of our personal flaws may have anything to do with our gender, our cultural background, or our sexual preference.  The funny thing about social networking, such as Facebook, Twitter, Linked-In, etc., is we all can be whoever we want to be behind the screen, but it is the words that we speak that will be noticed by others first. We do not see a face, a race, or a gender unless we post a profile picture, and even that sometimes is not always truthful. The bottom line is: you will never know what you are missing until you get to know the character of a person. Drop everything that you have heard and read about a gender, a culture, or a sexual preference and just meet a variety of people from all, and I do mean ALL, walks of life and from any and every category. Remember, you yourself fall into one or more categories. Would you want someone to discriminate against you without giving you a fair chance?

 

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

Something to think about: “Walls were Made to be Broken” (Part 2)

I’m assuming most of you have already read my previous blog entitled “Something to think about: Walls Were Made To Be Broken”. If not, please do go back and read it. It will help you understand what this blog is all about…

For those of you who have read it, hopefully you have a clear understanding of the difference between a Conscious and Unconscious Wall and have taken the time to do a self-evaluation to see whether or not your walls can be distinguished between the two. Naturally in order to do this, you have to be completely honest with yourself, and that can be pretty rough. I’m sure we all would like to think we are free and clear of any character flaws, but the truth of the matter is, we are not. All of us have some sort of wall built around our hearts and minds, whether we want to admit it or not. We may not have been aware of that wall’s existence, how it got there, or even how long it’s been there.

Not sure if you have a wall?

Make a list of your fears. Be honest.

Next, make a list of how you address, or don’t address, those fears. Be honest.

Still not clear yet? Note: Be honest.

The first step in identifying which wall was created to be demolished all goes back to what I said earlier… you have to be completely honest with yourself. Any self-evaluation or soul-searching is going to require complete honesty, no matter how painful it may feel. You need to know the truth. Without truth, there can be no remedy. Without a remedy, there can be no demolition…

Remember: 2013 is all about the year for creating a better Y.O.U.

So go, go now, and get busy writing that fear list so you can move on to the next highly recommended step…

(To be continued)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine