“You find yourself totally and completely falling in love with this person as time moves on. However, there is something erratic about their behavior that you cannot quite put your finger on but you know something is not right. One day, they seem like the life of the party around you; cheerful, helpful, and radiant in your presence. But the next day, they verbally state they hate your guts for no apparent reason at all. You may even notice them acting this way throughout an entire day; elated one minute, extremely hostile the next. Even when you two have had hardly any contact with each other at all, this behavior is still exhibited by them without cause or reason from your point of view.
So you decide to ask them what you did to upset them so much, but they cannot answer with a direct answer. They beat around the bush, they play games, they use sarcasm at inappropriate moments, they try distracting you from focusing on the question, and they may even play the ‘surrender role’ by stating things like ‘whatever you think the answer is’ or ‘take a guess why I’m acting this way’. The more you try to get to the bottom of the problem, the more they try to avoid telling the truth…“
Truth: something the sociopath fears because:
- With truth comes exposure…
- With exposure comes clarity…
- With clarity come closure…
- With closure comes direction.
Some say the sociopath has no fears because they have no conscious. That is not true. The sociopath fears being exposed for what they are. It does not bother their conscious when they lie to you, cheat on you, steal from you, etc., but one thing that does torment their conscious is the fear of the mask that they wear will be ripped off and the sociopath in them will be revealed. When you know the truth of what (and who) it is you are dealing with, you are able to clearly see which direction you should go: to stay or to leave. Not only do you know which direction you should go, you also know if further attention concerning your safety needs to be addressed (sociopaths despise “losing” at their games and think nothing of getting revenge so they can feel like they have “won”).
Believe it or not, the sociopath does not want you to leave, at least not until they know without a reasonable doubt that they have another victim lined up to take your place immediately after your departure. The sociopath is satisfied with you as long as you are believing their lies; it is when they think you are starting to catch on to their lies is when they begin to panic and start looking for another unsuspecting victim without delay. As long as the sociopath can keep you blinded to important facts about the relationship, they have control over how you live your life, your peace of mind, etc. Remember: they need to “feed” on the fears, the wants, and the needs of others in order to feel like they have a sense of power and control. This is why they were so charming in the beginning so they could win your undivided affection and trust. It is no wonder why their erratic behavior is so baffling since they seemed so sincere at first, and also the main reason why they try to avoid having to answer for their monstrous behavior in the end… because they are terrified of being exposed.
(to be continued…)
© 2013 Learus Ohnine