When Your Father Is A Sociopath

I am re-blogging this mainly because I have only touched on sociopaths from a romantic perspective, but not so much from a relative/family viewpoint. Plus, I think it is very well written…

Ice Age Reincarnated

With films such as “Twister,” “The Day After Tomorrow” and the most recent release “2012” depicting some of the most horrific weather conditions with impressive special effects, who would have thought we would see these scenes practically come to real life? Although not as extreme in severity, the recent changes in weather conditions around the globe keep scientists speculating just how similar, theoretically speaking, these treading conditions will be in comparison to the Hollywood’s adaptations. From major blizzards to record-breaking temperatures, attributes such as global warming and solar output put together a more precise explanation of why there seems to be a “role reversal” in climatic changes. While glaciers in Greenland and Antarctica are decreasing in mass, other parts of the world are either experiencing out-of-season unusually cold temperatures in Summer, abnormally high temperatures in Winter, or vice versa.

Aside from the all the other scientific theories, another intergalactic phenomenon that has slowly yet efficiently progressed over the years may also be a contributing factor as to why the earth seems “upside down.” From 1982 to 2005, the Earth’s geographical poles have changed locations, moving at a speed of approximately 6 centimeters per year according to a research conducted at the University of Texas in Austin. Data collected by NASA’s Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment (GRACE) was used to determine if the shifting of the North and South Pole have had any affect on the changes in weather. The results concluded the exact opposite: the changes in weather caused by global warming have affected the Earth’s positioning; for example, the North Pole is gradually moving southward.

However, there is more to the changes in the weather than just being attributed to a shift in geographically polarity and global warming. The Sun’s atmospheric motions, which includes sunspots, solar flares and coronal mass ejections, proposedly has an enormous impact on the Earth’s surface, thus creating a cataclysmic pattern of intensified earthquakes and increased volcanic activity. Japan’s worst earthquake in history occurring on March 11, 2011 followed by the Philippines on April 11, 2012 along with the most recent of earthquakes on January 20, 2014 in New Zealand clearly demonstrates the increasing trend of seismic activity along with the various volcanic eruptions occurring within the 21st century.

Conclusively, all changes in weather conditions has made a gross impact on our lives and daily routines regardless of its origin, with seemingly no relief in sight for the near future. All we can do is hope these changes do not become so increasingly dramatic that it really does seem as if we are living in a science fiction movie.

©2014 Learus Ohnine

Source:

NASA

The Plastic Plague

Outrageous. Abominable. Stupefying. Unbelievable…

These are just a few words that blatantly describes the catastrophe bestowed upon possibly as many as 110 million credit and debit card owners between the months of November and December in 2013. With Target being one of the top-selling leading retailers during the busy holiday shopping season, their announcement of a data breach of confidential information left millions to question whether or not the retail chain was capable of adhering to quality security policies to protect their customers’ information. Hackers reportedly have gained access to approximately 70 million names, phone numbers, and mailing addresses as well as email addresses with little to no further confirmation as to what or not other information was obtained during this invasion of privacy.

But this outlandish activity does not stop there…

Neiman Marcus, another high-end retail store, has recently announced a similar breach of security to its system. On January 1, 2014, evidence of a cyber-security intrusion has result in an investigation that has yet to determine just how many Neiman Marcus customers have been affected. While there is no confirmed statement of this breach being linked to the same Target scandal at this time, the most impertinent suspicious factor of evidence points to both malicious breaches of security being originally discovered approximately at the same time – mid December.

So what does it all mean for consumers? In a nutshell, having the pleasure of enjoying one’s in-store shopping experience without the added nuisance of carrying large amounts of cash around is not only a convenience – it is a luxury. Being able to make purchases from the comfort of your own home via the internet is a convenient luxury in its own right, yet lately the risks involved seem to inadvertently outweigh its advantages.

The main question is this: is there simple solution to protect consumers from the vile acts of privacy invasion? At the moment, the only feasible and seemingly safest way consumers can do their shopping is by carrying lump sums of cash on them at all times. For the banks, this solution spells financial troubles. For the retailers, this should not have any substantial affect on their sales revenue although their accounts receivable department may have less or more work cut out for them. In the end, all that really matters is regaining that trust bond between consumer and retailer once again, and with the rate things have been going lately, there is no current equitable solution to this being offered by retailers… except to advise all shoppers to shop at their own risk.

©2014 Learus Ohnine

Literacy In America

The advanced potential of technology, along with its mainstream function of being able to access information at any given time, has now overturned the way readers have access to books. Having the potential to access publications from the comfort of your own home at any given time of the day or night may be the main contributing factor as to why consumers have elected to invest in the purchasing of an e-book reader as opposed to spending money on transportation costs to their local bookstore. More recently, local and large chain bookstores have reported an enormous drop in sales since technology has introduced a more convenient way to read by way of the Barnes & Noble Nook, the Amazon Kindle, the Pandigial Reader, and the Sony Reader. While e-book sales have increased over the years in the United States, the U.S. adult literacy rates have decreased.

Literacy has a major impact on the functional ability of a country. However, statistics reveal a sad truth concerning the readers residing in the United States: approximately 32 million Americans cannot read. According to a study performed by The Organization for Economic Adult Literacy, the United States ranked 16 out of 23 countries. 1 out of 3 American adults cannot read properly, meaning either they do not fully understand the material they have read or they cannot analyze the information they have read correctly. Oddly, 33% of American adults, or 1 out of 4 Americans, own an e-reader of some sort. As the number of e-books sold has increased by 43% over the past 5 years, over 10 million e-books have been sold thus far yet this does not indicate there is hope for an increase in American literacy rates.

One possible explanation as to the awkward imbalance in statistics when comparing the number of e-reader and e-book sales to literacy rates is the decline of available bookstores where physical books may be purchased. When assessing the literacy rates, approximately 1 in 3 adults scored low in problem solving abilities within a technical environment. Not every reader is computer literate. In bookstores, customers can readily ask for assistance if needed when searching for a specific topic or publication. With e-readers, the reader is pretty much on their own. Since the sales of e-books has risen over the past 10 years, bookstores have been forced to shut down due to their low sales volume. Their low sales volume is contributed to the rising number of readers who prefer to purchase e-books rather than the traditionally printed book, and not all adult educational development resources are available in electronic form.

With bookstores becoming extinct and electronic book sales increasing, there may still be hope for raising the literacy stats for American adults as long as the number of library locations does not decline in the process…

©2013 Learus Ohnine

Woman’s Work Is Never Done

For decades on end, woman have been fighting for their equality to be recognized, in one form or another, within the workforce. Former President John F. Kennedy endorsed it – President Barack Obama ensues to enforce it. The Equal Pay Act, signed by Kennedy in June 1963, was the latest attempt to put an end to gender discrimination pertaining to unequal wages earned by women versus men who are employed in identical positions that are of equal job content. President Obama sponsors John F. Kennedy’s Equal Pay Act (or EPA) for gender wage equality with the Paycheck Fairness Act (or PFA), a legislation to end the approximate 77% difference in compensated wages earned by women when compared to that of men. This bill was approved in January 2009 by the House of Representatives, however, the United States Senate fell short of 2 votes for the 60 votes needed in order to move the bill forward. The bill was presented again for a second time in June 2012. Consequently, the United States Senate only acquired 52 votes in favor of proceeding the bill to its final consideration. Why?

Republican Senators, of whom comprise the small minority of congressional voters opposing the PFA, believe that the bill could adversely affect small businesses by making it easier for female employees to file litigation suits in regards to wage discrimination. Ironically, out of the number of Republican Senators who blocked the bill, five of them were women: Senator Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson of Texas, Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska, Senator Olympia Snowe of Maine, and Senator Susan Collins, also of Maine.

In a statement made by Senate Republican Susan Collins on June 5, 2012, she believes the existing workforce laws are already sufficient: “We already have on the books the Equal Pay Act, the Civil Rights Act, and the Lilly Ledbetter Act in which I support, and I believe that they provide adequate protections. I think this bill would impose a real burden, particularly on small businesses.” In a similar statement made by Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky supporting Collins’ viewpoint, McConnell states “We don’t think America suffers from a lack of litigation.” In another statement made by Republican Senator Dean Heller of Nevada, he makes it clear that he does not support pay discrimination within the workforce based on gender, but instead focuses on the issue of workforce inequality in itself: “The question is, will the Paycheck Fairness Act actually address workplace inequality? And the simple answer is no.”

The Paycheck Fairness Act, in comparison to the Equal Pay Act, would provide remedies for the loopholes found within the act signed by former President John F. Kennedy in 1963. The bill would require wages to be paid based on education, training, and/or experience, not sex-based. This bill would also protect employees from retribution from their employers should they happen to discuss their wages for the purposes of evaluating whether or not a gender differential exists. Although American women have come a long way when it comes to putting an end to being shortchanged within their professions, it is still evident that women will have to continue fight even harder for their right to be heard and understood. As the old cliché goes: “Men work from sun to sun, but woman’s work is never done.”

©2013 Learus Ohnine

Social Mediautilation

One of the most favorites of popular fads these days are the social media networks. A majority of electronic devices (desktops, laptops, cell phones, etc.) are already installed with pre-loaded apps for Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms before they leave the manufactures. These media platforms are a great source for entertainment purposes, keeping up-to-date on the latest news and events, networking, playing online games, and staying in touch with friends and family. While this social media epidemic appears to be meekly harmless fun on the forefront, there have been reports of it becoming a severe unhealthy addiction for some, especially when that addiction teeters on the avenue of gross negligence.

A South Korean couple was arrested and charged with starving their three-month-old daughter to death while they obsessively devoted a majority of their waking hours into playing an online role-playing game, Prius Online, whose main objective was to raise a virtual baby girl. The couple seemed to have slipped into an overwhelming depressive state of mind due to their sudden unemployment status and the reality of giving birth to a premature baby girl. Obviously, their uncontrollable addiction to this role-playing game was a remedy for escaping their own reality. The tragedy of their willfully negligent behavior became more of an irreparable reality than the one they have imagined was necessary to escape from.

A 28-year-old New Mexico mother was convicted of second degree murder and child abandonment for the negligent death of her three-year-old daughter. An autopsy revealed the cause of death to be starvation, with traces of cat liter in her digestive system. FBI agents assigned to the investigation were astonished to find a computer located in the home which showed continuous online activity from noon until 3am on the day of the child’s death. During her trial, the remorseful mother admitted to spending countless hours online playing the fantasy role playing game “World of Warcraft”.

Some parents joyously spend hours at the computer updating their facebook and twitter statuses of their children’s playful antics, milestone developments, and proud photos of their playful antics. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is only when this devotion to any social media platform begins to mutilate one’s state of mind whereas they are no longer able to distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality is when intervention not only becomes imperative, it becomes an urgent life or death emergency.

©2013 Learus Ohnine

Adolescence and Violence

Raising a child in this day and age can be stressful. Most parents concern themselves with protecting their children from the harmful elements that may endanger their child’s physical growth, such as keeping current with vaccinations, proper nutritional planning, and instructing exemplary hygiene practices. Taking a child’s physical well-being seriously is commendable, however, it will not guarantee a child’s healthy state of mind. Children need to be protected from exposure to the more potentially dangerous influences in their environment that can easily be misconstrued as harmless.

Television and video games, a popular form of entertainment among adolescent males and females today, may appear to be harmless at first, but they most certainly do have some sort of negative impact on a child’s psychological health, especially if the theme focuses on the complexity of violence. Television programs today do not contain the same censored quality as the programs of yesterday once had. As time moves on, the level of violence seen in these programs have become exceedingly more violent, more vulgar, and more corrupt as this seems to be what generates the highest ratings.

Video games allow the players to become one with their characters with more hands-on interaction than television offers. However, becoming one with a character whose goal is to successfully conquer a series of violent scenarios by using violent techniques in order to win runs a risk of programming a child’s mind to believe the most effective way to win in life is by the use of violence.

Some say the solution to preventing exposure to violent mediums is by monitoring what a child is exposed to. While this method may be effective to some degree, it is not a sound proof method to the fullest. Internet access has parental control loopholes where children can easily slip through restrictions to gain access to violent video games, movies, and television programs. While one parent may show great concern for the content their child has access to, another parent may not. Children sharing violent resources amongst their peers has become a common method of ensuing the circulation of violent content.

Is there any hope in the discovery of a method to prevent adolescences from being exposed to violence? One option that may be most effective is to set the example. Since children do indeed learn by example, we as adults must consider our own behaviors before we can address theirs. The slightest detail that we may overlook as influential may have a profound impact on any psychological wars our children face when managing the right choices for their own behaviors.

©2013 Learus Ohnine

The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 7)

So far, all I have been writing about is on what it would be like if you were involved with a sociopath. Hopefully those mock scenarios were helpful, however, I believe it would be even more helpful to give a few tips on how to recognize a sociopath long before you get too deeply involved with them…

TIP #1: Pay attention to how they talk about women (if it is a man) or men (if it is a woman) in a derogatory way. They sometimes let true feelings slip out when conversing about gender roles. If the person is a male and is always referring to women in some perverted way, this usually means they think of women as sex objects or toys. If they talk down about women, referring to them as the “B” word, and likes to watch women being abused, tortured or raped, run for the hills. If you are a woman, just because he whispers sweet nothings in your ear all day long and yet talks with this negative attitude towards the female species does not mean you are special and he will not want to treat you the same way the minute you do something that angers them. You are only a good woman as long as you are useful to them, and them only. The same goes for a woman who says hateful slanderous things about men in general. She will never respect you as an individual no matter how hard you try to win her over.

EXAMPLE FOR TIP #1:

S-path: I think women are the most beautiful things on this planet. I love them dearly.

Her: You do? Why that’s a nice thing to say. I love men as well…

S-path: Oh really? Great!

(Both watching a movie, non-comedy;  scene shows woman getting slapped by a man)

S-path: AHAHAHAHA!! That’s what that b*tch gets! HAHAHA!

(suddenly, S-path’s phone rings)

S-path (looks at caller-ID): Oh not this b*tch again. It’s my accountant. She’s staying extra late at the office to work on my taxes.

(S-path answers call; talks politely to her, then hangs up)

S-path: HA! That b*tch is so stupid! She says she’s got an emergency. Her child fell down the stairs. Dumb b*tch should be at home anyways!

Now think: why on earth would a man who is trying to seduce a woman use this kind of language when referring to other women (especially one that is making personal sacrifices to help him) IN FRONT OF HER?? Notice how his actions do not match up to what he said about women general.

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TIP #2: Pay attention to how they respect their parents. When we were kids, it was normal to express our dislikes of how we were raised by our parents while growing up because we didn’t realize at the time that they were raising us in a way that was meant for our own good later down the road in life.  For example, we complained about our curfew times, having to do chores, our homework, not being able to stay up late when we wanted to, etc., but it wasn’t until when we became adults and had to apply that self-discipline and responsibility in the real world did we really begin to appreciate that parental discipline. We may not of liked what we had to go through, but we went through it without much of a fuss. If a person brags about how they rebelled against their parents in a sadistic way whenever they tried to discipline them, look out. This usually means they despise restrictions of any kind and have no respect for boundaries, rules, or laws and will retaliate the second they feel restricted by them.

EXAMPLE FOR TIP #2:

S-path: Yeah I loved my mom to death, but I have to tell you a funny story.

Her: Oh, okay 🙂

S-path: There was this one time when she told me I was grounded for bad grades, so I tied all her jewelry in knots, and then I flushed them down the toilet. HAHA isn’t that funny?! She knew who was the boss around there! AHAHA!

Her: um… okay 😐

S-path: Oh yeah, and speaking of which, there was a time when the neighbors told me I wasn’t invited to their birthday party, so I tied a brick around their cat’s neck and threw it in their swimming pool. You should of seen the look on their faces HAHAHA! Oh man! AHAHAHAHA ahh those were the days!

Her: (shrugges shoulders)

If you start to laugh at the sociopath’s sick things they did while they’re recollecting their childhood, they will interpret this to mean you like their sense of humor… and… will also expect you to laugh and enjoy it when they do these same things to YOU!

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TIP #3: Pay attention to how fast they talk. Sociopaths talk fast; REAL fast. They do not want to give you time to think about what they’re saying; they just want you to hurry up and see things their way and make a decision in their favor. They encourage you to make decisions irrationally and impulsively. They also don’t stick to one subject for too long out of fear you might start asking questions that they cannot answer ( or do not want to answer) when you’re trying to make sense of what they’re saying. Most sociopaths talk in metaphors and do so in a way that it gives the listener one impression while the sociopath really means something totally different; again this is all to get you to do something rash in their favor.

EXAMPLE FOR TIP#3

S-path: Hey, you’re pretty cool. I could really like you alot. You know that, right?

Her: (giggles) Yeah I know. 😀

S-path: Yeah I’m really tired of going over to my sister’s house. It’s a long travel back and forth from work.

Her: Where does your sister live?

S-path: I have to wake up at 5:30 every morning just to get to work on time.

Her: Oh wow! That’s really early!

S-path: Yeah it is. If I fall asleep by 10:00 the night before, it’s not so bad. You’re lucky. You live close to every place I go to.

Her: Thanks but I just happened to find this place by…

S-path: (interrupts) Say, you wouldn’t mind if I crashed here for the night, would you? I have to get up awfully early in the morning. It’s 9:30pm already. Time sure does fly when you’re having fun, doesn’t it?

Her: Yep, it sure does. Sure you can stay.

(S-path spends the night at her house; they have passionate sex; S-path leaves half of his belongs at her house before he leaves in the morning)

Notice how the sociopath quickly redirects the conversation away from her question about the location of his sister. Why? Because there is no sister. He lives with another woman. This slick sociopath is trying to set up camp in a new woman’s house without officially leaving the present woman he lives with first. Also note how the sociopath starts off with a charming opening line that goes right over the lady’s head. He says “I COULD really like you alot”, not “I really like you alot” or “I DO like you alot”.  “Could” is too vague with how it’s used in this sentence and can easily be misconstrued for the wrong meaning, which is what the sociopath is trying to do.  Again, the sociopath quickly changes the subject from confessing his “real” emotions to his woes about traveling back and forth to work so the lady won’t have time to really think about what he just said previously, and question it.

In fact, the sociopath is such a fast-talker that she didn’t pick up on his subtle hints about moving in with her because he gave her the impression he wanted to stay only for one night. And, the sociopath’s preferred “weapon” of choice is passionate sex, guaranteed to throw all of her common sense out the window while he’s throwing smoke in her eyes so she can’t see what’s really going on. She doesn’t realize this until after the 4th or 5th night, when he leaves a little more of his belongs each time. The sociopath pulled this trick as if he didn’t want to give her not so much as a choice in the matter; just a sob story and several changes of his underwear, socks, and clothing.

So these are just a few tips and examples of what to look out for when first interacting with a sociopath. It’s kind of difficult to detect when a sociopath is deceiving you when you are all caught up in the euphoria of their charms, until it’s too late. There are many many more tips and examples that need to be pointed out, in which I will write more as I recollect them. Hope this little tidbit is helpful.

(to be continued…)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 6)

“You and your mate seem to share so many common interests. You both enjoy spending time with each other while appreciating the finer things in life. One of those finer things is enjoying the good company of your mutual associates. Your mate says they value personality above all things and are adamant about the importance of maintaining good friendship. You value the same thing as well…

But lately, you have noticed a change in the way you and your mate’s mutual associates interact with you. These associates seem to act in an awkward way whenever you are around, as if they feel uncomfortable saying even the smallest word such as ‘hello’.  You have not done anything derogatory towards them directly, at least nothing that you can recall. Some days they seem moody as if it is painful for them to speak to back to you when spoken to, or, they make strange facial jesters towards you whenever you mention your mate’s name. Consequently, this arouses your suspicions as to why they are acting this way. Your confront your mutual associates about your suspicions to no avail. You then confront your mate about this, who claims they do not have any idea what is going on with your mutual associates. 

You also begin to notice something strange about your mate’s behavior at the same time. They seem to prefer to talk to you over the telephone rather than spend time together physically. They suspiciously ask you questions about your whereabouts more often, are more secretive than before with their cell phone, and seem very concerned about what is being said to you about them by your mutual associates.

They seem to want to pick a fight with you over the slightest things at the oddest of times, such as during a dinner or a movie date, and then refuse to be consoled about the situation in spite of all the facts you tell them that discredits their false accusations that cause them to start the argument in the first place. There are times when they will blurt out false accusations about you in front of certain mutual associates, then afterwards pretend as if nothing they said or did ever happened. Also, you notice your mate seems to change their attitude towards you in a derogatory way depending on which mutual associate is nearby at the time, but then changes back into their loving self with you behind closed doors. Sometimes, it even seems like your mate is mimicking this same mutual associate identically in dialog, body language, and personality…

Oddly enough, you began to question the change in personality with your mate whenever certain mutual associates are present. As usual, your mate becomes highly irritated with the fact that you would dare to question them. You explain to them why you are questioning them, in which they reply with answers that has nothing to do with your original question. Your mate seems to ramble on and on forever about nothing related to their behavior until they manage to change the direction of the discussion off of anything focused on themselves. Whenever you try to intervene in the middle of their ramblings with your original question about their behavior, they switch the focus onto your behavior instead of focusing on their own. Over time, your mate deliberately causes more and more distance between the two of you whenever you question their behavior…

Surprisingly enough, one of your mutual associates says something to you that lets you know that your mate has been trying to seduce them behind your back. Another associate informs you that your mate has been talking to others about things that you confided in your mate about that should have been kept a secret. You immediately confront your mate about this. Your mate denies all accusations to the extreme. They try to make this mutual associates look like a liar. Your mate tells you they have never tried to seduce a particular mutual associate, although you have witnessed first-hand for yourself how your mate seems to be extra charming towards them when they thought you were not looking… 

When you confront your mate about telling your mutual associate what was supposed to be private between the two of you, your mate tries to make it seem like you were the one that told them when you know in fact you did not, and then proceeds to tell you about all the private information these associates shared with your mate. In the midst of your mate trying to defend themselves, they periodically slip and tell on themselves, without being aware that they are, which confirms everything that was said about your mate as being the truth. When you point this out to your mate, they try to retract whatever they have said as if they never said anything at all…”

Sociopaths are notorious for causing division among mutual associates. They love division if there is something to be gained from it. Their motive for gain could be anything from money to sex, and from drugs to someone who could be an accomplice in helping them destroy your sanity, your reputation, and even your life. For example, If you have had a riff with one of your mutual associates whom the sociopath thinks they can gain something from, they try to step in between the two of you and play both of you against one another.

They do this to cause more tension in whatever environment you and your ex-associate may share. They immediately search for your ex-associate and feed the fire by telling them fabricated stories about how badly you have been treating the sociopath when it was really the sociopath who has been treating you badly, how badly you have been talking about them behind their back when it was really the sociopath who has said all those things to you about them, and will even go as far as acting all of this out with you in front of them just to make their lies look legitimate. They will try to show your ex-associate their loyalty to them verses you in order to gain their trust by telling them either some or all of your secrets, then afterwards will go behind their back and tell you some or all of theirs. They offer to be of whatever service they can to your ex-associate in an attempt to seduce them behind your back. This is why the sociopath deliberately creates distance between you two; they need that space in order to be available whenever your ex-associate wants them to be without it seeming obvious to you. 

The sociopath wants the division between the two of you to stay there permanently, especially if there is something to be gained from this for them, and will go out of their way to make sure you both will never reconcile again. They do this by baiting your ex-associate into doing sneaky deceptive things with them behind your back, such as dating, sex, etc. In other words, the sociopath will charm them in the same manner they have charmed you, and this is why the stories you hear about the sociopath seducing another mutual associate seem so familiar. They persuade your mutual associate to engage in acts that would otherwise be unforgivable by you should you ever find out about them. It also guarantees the sociopath will have a “weapon” to use against you whenever they want to emotionally hurt you, get you to bend to their wishes, or when they want that adrenaline rush of power from emotionally blackmailing you.

Beware if you are the one on the other end of this equation: if you are the ex-associate. Do not underestimate the level of deceptiveness the sociopath will stoop to in order to get you to fall for their lies to win you over. The sociopath will play on your anger, hate, jealousy, or whatever emotion you have towards your ex-associate. Do not under any circumstances get too close to the sociopath; they will use any instances of interaction with you as blackmail later on. Just the same as your ex-associate was deceived into believing the sociopath’s lies, so will you be. You are no exception.

Remember: if it seems too good to be true, chances are it probably is…

(to be continued…)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 5)

“All week you have been preparing for the up and coming holiday, eagerly awaiting to spend the day surrounded by your family. You look forward to reminiscing with them about the days growing up together, catching up on the happenings of those lost moments shared with one another, and renewing the bond that was once broken years ago. It has been years since you last saw your family, and this reunion brings about the most important closure on a chapter in your life that has been plaguing you for a very long time. You have shared your excitement over this anticipated event with your loved one, who seems just as happy for you as you are… at first…

The holiday has arrived. You tell your mate how excited you are that you are going over to your family’s house later that evening. Suddenly, you see a change in your mate’s temperament. They say things they know will start a fight between you two; it is as if they are purposely trying to get a rise out of you before you go. Everything they are saying has nothing to do with the holiday or the evening itself; these were actually issues that were resolved long time ago. You are confused as to why when these issues were clearly and mutually resolved are they being brought back to the surface now, as if your mate never had an understanding to begin with. They claimed they did when the first argument took place about the same issues, and now all of a sudden, they have no recollection of ever resolving them. Not only that, most of these issues never had a legitimate basis to fight about to begin with; they were all fake complaints your mate made up themselves for you to waste countless hours in the day trying to work things out with them…

The time is winding down towards the time for you to leave for your family celebration. You need to get ready and your mate seems to be deliberately drawing out this argument on purpose. The more you express how upset they are making you over their defiance in resolving the matter before you leave, the more they try to antagonize you further by being more defiant. What happened to this person’s standards they stated they had in the beginning? They once told you they hate arguing, but as time goes on, they seem to start arguments at the drop of a dime and pick the oddest of times to start one. By now, your mate has you so upset to the point where you do not want to go, but you go anyway. With your mind totally disheveled and confused by the way your mate has just acted, you dry your eyes and try to calm your nerves before you head off to be with your family…”

Sociopaths DO NOT like for you to have a loving support system, i.e. family and friends. It is hard for them to effectively mentally traumatize you and break your will when you have access to people who will surround you with love and support to counteract the damages. This is why sociopaths usually target loners, divorcees, those fresh out of a failed romantic relationships, runaways, the “new kid on the block”, the “black sheep” of the family, and so on. These are the type of people whom the sociopath zeros in on quickly because they know their circumstances might not have them thinking clearly, their defenses are low, and their options are limited as to whom they can trust to turn to for accurate advice, help, and support when the sociopath starts playing with their mind. They will try to do everything possible to tear down any bond you may have between you and another supportive individual with whom they may feel threatened by. You will notice this repeated cycle mostly at times when you and your family will be spending time together.

If the sociopath is not acquainted with your family, meaning they have no direct contact with them, they will try to compensate for not being able to manipulate them by going through you. They will try to get you confused, angry, and even furious before you intend to be in the presence of your family in hopes this will cause you to say or do something irrational and take out your frustrations on them. In turn, the sociopath wants you to look like the one responsible for causing the rift between you and your family, and will you this guilt trip against you later. In the least, the sociopath will try to make you look crazy to your family by driving you crazy. The sociopath may think by doing this, it will cause your family to inadvertently discontinue their association with you themselves. Some sociopaths have even used the tactic of forcing you to choose by saying “it’s either me or them”, or they may throw fits of rage whenever your family does something nice for

you, buys you a gift, or helps you in any way possible and vice versa. The sociopath does this to make you feel guilty for any kind of generous acts exchanged between you and your relatives, hoping you will cease in doing so for fear of the wrath that comes along with it. Remember: all of this is a way for the sociopath to control you. This is why it is very important to let your family know your doubts, concerns, and anything else you find odd about the sociopath in your life so they can be aware of the situation. This is for your protection as well as theirs.

And above all else, DO NOT LET THE SOCIOPATH ISOLATE YOU FROM ANYONE YOU ARE ALREADY CLOSE TO!

(to be continued…)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine