Social Mediautilation

One of the most favorites of popular fads these days are the social media networks. A majority of electronic devices (desktops, laptops, cell phones, etc.) are already installed with pre-loaded apps for Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms before they leave the manufactures. These media platforms are a great source for entertainment purposes, keeping up-to-date on the latest news and events, networking, playing online games, and staying in touch with friends and family. While this social media epidemic appears to be meekly harmless fun on the forefront, there have been reports of it becoming a severe unhealthy addiction for some, especially when that addiction teeters on the avenue of gross negligence.

A South Korean couple was arrested and charged with starving their three-month-old daughter to death while they obsessively devoted a majority of their waking hours into playing an online role-playing game, Prius Online, whose main objective was to raise a virtual baby girl. The couple seemed to have slipped into an overwhelming depressive state of mind due to their sudden unemployment status and the reality of giving birth to a premature baby girl. Obviously, their uncontrollable addiction to this role-playing game was a remedy for escaping their own reality. The tragedy of their willfully negligent behavior became more of an irreparable reality than the one they have imagined was necessary to escape from.

A 28-year-old New Mexico mother was convicted of second degree murder and child abandonment for the negligent death of her three-year-old daughter. An autopsy revealed the cause of death to be starvation, with traces of cat liter in her digestive system. FBI agents assigned to the investigation were astonished to find a computer located in the home which showed continuous online activity from noon until 3am on the day of the child’s death. During her trial, the remorseful mother admitted to spending countless hours online playing the fantasy role playing game “World of Warcraft”.

Some parents joyously spend hours at the computer updating their facebook and twitter statuses of their children’s playful antics, milestone developments, and proud photos of their playful antics. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is only when this devotion to any social media platform begins to mutilate one’s state of mind whereas they are no longer able to distinguish the difference between fantasy and reality is when intervention not only becomes imperative, it becomes an urgent life or death emergency.

©2013 Learus Ohnine

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How To Avoid Being Lured In

One of the most important things to understand when dealing with a sociopath/psychopath is you must know their language. You must be able to understand the meaning behind each word they speak in order to understand them. Almost everything they say has a varied meaning from the norm. They use common everyday terms to express themselves, just like anyone else, but their definitions of certain keywords and phrases are eccentrically different from its originally intended implication.

Below lists just a few phrases most sociopaths/psychopaths use when trying to lure (and keep) their victims. Under each phrase will be the real meaning behind what the phrase means for the sociopath/psychopath when it is spoken. All these phrases are familiar phrases and are spoken by the sociopath/psychopath with the intent to misguide you into believing their motives for you are pure, true, and genuine:

Here it is….

1) “I Love You
Meaning: “You give me a rush at the moment”

2) “You Love Me
Meaning: “You forego your needs to bend to my will”

3) “Trust Me
Meaning: “What a sucker!”

4) “You’re the man/woman of my life
Meaning: “You are one of a long indefinite sequence of women/men that’s also simultaneous”

5) “Mutual Fidelity
Meaning: “YOU need to be faithful to me, while I cheat on you…”

6) “Betrayal
Meaning: “You dared to disapprove of something I did, or, you disobeyed me in some respect”

7) “Mutual Commitment
Meaning: “You need to revolve everything in your life around me, and do exactly what I want”

8) “Honesty
Meaning: “My truth, or, saying whatever it takes to get me what I want at the moment”

9) “I Miss You
Meaning: “I miss the function you used to play in my life, because I’m a little bored right now…”

10) “What My Baby Wants, My Baby Gets
Meaning: “I will give you attention, flattery, and gifts until I hook you emotionally and gain your trust. Afterwards, you’re on your own!”

This last phrase, the most important most common phrase sociopaths/psychopaths use on victims more frequently than we would like to believe (or notice) is the most crucial phrase of them all to remember… a major red flag to watch for:

11) “I cheated because my (insert name here) does not satisfy me
Meaning: “…and neither will you.”

(Source: Unknown)

Bonus Tip!: Whenever you question any of the above phrases, watch them change the subject quickly. VERY quickly. They might flip through several subjects at once. This is what they mean by a “flow” when they speak. That flow is meant to distract you from thinking logically, critically, and reasonably. You will be hit with so many topics at once that you began to feel mentally overwhelmed. When we are mentally overwhelmed, we lose focus. And there it is; a distraction tactic designed perfectly by them for you.

Regardless of your response, they’re not paying one bit of attention to what you’re saying because they are too busy reading your body language to see if their distraction technique is working. They can sense this within the first few moments of your response. If they sense the new topic is not distracting enough, that is when they “zone out” and begin thinking of another topic that seemed to pull a more desired response from you. Usually, they will choose a subject that was never settled during an earlier confrontation in order to cause confusion over getting you to think about not only one, but two unresolved issues at once now. Keyword here: distraction.

Another method they may use will be to focus on some insignificant word in what you have said, such as one that can be understood to have more than one meaning, and will try to start a debate about that particular word’s instead of the meaning of the entire sentence. Their game of confusion begins, until you are frustrated with trying make them understand the definition of the word, you begin to lose focus on the point you were trying to make. Again, this is a form of distraction.

Be safe, be careful, be alert…

©2013 Learus Ohnine

Is It Possible To Become A Sociopath/Psychopath?

Sure it is.  It is possible for someone to have gone through such adverse situations in their life that their perception of reality is distorted as an adult.  These circumstances have had some sort of adverse impact on their earlier years of psychological development, i.e. childhood, in which they have never been able to come to terms with or have never sought out professional help to help overcome the adversity of the situation(s). However, there is still that one fact that remains within the sociopathic/psychopathic behavior that still holds them accountable: the ability to know the difference between right from wrong.

So how does one know if a sociopath or psychopath is one because of genetically linked factors or circumstances?

This can be very tricky in deciphering the difference, because most sociopaths do not tell the truth as it is when it comes to discussing their childhood, adulthood, or any “hood” of their life.  Most of them will pretend they have had a bad childhood as part of their plot to gain sympathy from generous people in order to gain something from them, or, they may use this lie as an excuse to get away with not facing the consequences for their destructive behavior, again to gain sympathy.  Psychopaths have been known to come from stable childhood homes without a trace of dysfunctional interactions with the prominent figures in their lives, yet they seem to have a distorted view of reality whereas they think the world should revolve around their wants and needs without regards for the rights of others and without consequences for violating those rights.

But there is one thing that is undisputed for both disorders; as a child grows older and becomes more acquainted with society, they have no other choice but to learn the difference between what society deems as right from wrong and will have to moderate their behavior accordingly.  Those who have difficulty moderating their behavior to adjust to societal rules are considered to demonstrate sociopathic and/or psychopathic behaviors.

Let’s say the sociopath/psychopath came from a home where there was little to no supervision, or even worse, supervision that had no boundaries, responsibilities, rules or restrictions, and no consequences for bad behavior.  Believe it or not, this can be traumatic when a child has no correction; they feel as if they can do no wrong and will grow up with this mindset when they try to interact with the rest of society.  When the child grows up and realizes reality is not what they thought it was, that there really is such a thing as right from wrong and there are consequences for their wrong behavior, they literally do feel traumatized from the reactions they get when they do wrong to others.  They may go into a frenzy when they cannot have their way and begin to plot and plan on how they can make their idealization of reality happen.  Society refers to this kind of behavior as being “spoiled” and have been known to mistakenly apply this term to adults.

But in a sense, being spoiled really only applies to children.  Why?  Just think about it.  As I have stated earlier, we all eventually learn the difference between right and wrong as we grow older despite any lack of training, discipline, or correction in this area of our childhood by the responses we get in return for the things that we do.  A spoiled child grows up eventually, and realizes the hard way that everything is not all about them. They will have to respect the rights of others if they expect to get along with other people in general whether they like it or not.  It is the difficulty they have with this transition from a false reality they have been raised to believe in to the real world is what turns these children into a sociopath/psychopath as an adult.

That was actually the more glorified look as to how one can become a sociopath/psychopath, but there is also a dark side to this possibility, too…

(to be continued…)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 4)

“You two have just had what seemed like the argument of a lifetime. You are totally devastated by what you have just heard come out of your partner’s mouth. Your partner has just blamed you for something you have no clue of. They are This is the same partner that has always seemed so sensible about communication, stating that they prefer to resolve disagreements as soon as they happen to avoid unnecessary confusion. Now that you have done everything within your power to explain your side of the situation to them, they refuse to listen nor do they seem to want to be corrected. The more you try to correct them, the louder they speak. Then all of a sudden, they hung up the phone quicker than you could have a chance to react.

You try to call them back repeatedly but to no avail. They do not answer, and there is no return call back from them. And so you wait, and wait, and wait for them to call you back. Still no call back. You send them text message after text message. There is no reply back from them. You began to wonder what is the problem; why have they not called you back and discussed the problem even after you have explained to them in a text message stating how wrong their facts were and that the two of you need to talk in person. You know that all this could easily be resolved IF only they would answer their phone…

Hours have passed since your last call or text message to them. A strange feeling comes over you as if something just does not seem right. Their behavior does not match up to what they said in the beginning about open communication during times of disagreements. There have been times in the past when you two have disagreed over something, and there has always be a resolution between the two of you shortly after the disagreement. But this time, they seem as if they are deliberately keeping the distance between you so that this issue cannot be resolved.

The entire day has gone by and still no return call or text message from them. Finally, the next day, they return your calls. The funny thing about this call  is… they appear as if nothing is wrong, that nothing ever happened the night before, and no argument ever took place. It is as if yesterday never existed. Confused, you ask them about the argument that happened last night and sincerely express how you would like to discuss it. They respond with a nonchalant ‘oh that, that’s water under the bridge. Let’s talk about something else’, and proceed to carry on about their plans for the day, ask you what yours are, and abruptly end the call with a promise to call you back later. They hang up the phone before you even had a chance to say goodbye.

Weeks go by and you start to notice a pattern with this. You notice they always seem to bring up discussions that they know will cause an argument between the two of you, and then abruptly hang up the phone with no return call until the next day. You notice even when you try to stop the argument from escalating, they deliberately carry on until the argument ends with them hanging up the phone and not contacting you until the next day. You also notice which day of the week this always seems to take place: on a Friday and/or Saturday night.”

 

 

 

No, you are not losing your mind. Your partner is. The sociopath uses this diversion tactic as a way to have no contact with you. For whatever reason they cannot use their phone to speak to you, using the “I’m too angry to talk to you” excuse is the only way out of having to answer when you call. It also leaves an open space for them to insert lies about their whereabouts.

I have heard several reasons as to why they deliberately want to have no contact by phone on the weekends, however, the main reason was because they were with another woman (or man, depending on the circumstances). Notice your partner’s use of their cell phone whenever you are around them. Is the ringer always off? Is the phone hidden out of sight? Do they answer the phone when it rings? If they do not answer the phone when it rings whenever you are around them, chances are this is the same reason why they do not answer the phone whenever you call them. Big clue there.

 

 

 

 

Keep in mind this scenario does not necessarily have to only take place on the weekends alone. It could happen at anytime of the day or night on any given day, depending on when they are planning on indulging on whatever it is they are being secretive about. If the reason why they are acting oddly is because they are having sex with another woman or man behind your back, that would explain why they cannot answer their phone or make contact with you until that other woman or man is out of their presence for obvious reasons; they are lying to you and that person at the same time. They may not be having sex at all; just the fact that they are in the presence of someone with whom you may disagree with is probable cause for them to avoid answering their phone. Also, note their behavior when the two of you finally do make contact after an argument. If they appear joyful as if nothing ever happened, that is because they feel their plan worked; they have gotten away with whatever it is they wanted to get away with. If they feel their plan worked, be expecting them to use this tactic whenever they want to spend time with another woman (or man).

 

Eeeeeeek!

 

woman-going-crazy

 

 

Most sociopaths try to make you think you are the one that is losing your mind by pretending the argument never happened, or, it was not that much of a big deal to resolve as they made it seem like it was when it happened. They do this for two reasons:

 

  1. At some point, they really do hope you will lose your mind trying to keep up with them. Remember: control equals power to them. If you are constantly distracted with thoughts of trying to figure them out, you will not be focused in your daily activities. You may make careless mistakes, miss important appointments, or just seem lethargic all time and not really caring to take care of yourself or your responsibilities. You may even start making silly mistakes, saying odd or weird things to people, or even worse, develop a sense of paranoia. The sociopath will use this against you. They will take your faults and use them to belittle you, attack your self-esteem by over-emphasizing your mistakes, and will manipulate the opportunity to implant false impressions into your mind that you need them in order to function properly. They may even point out your mistakes to make it look like they defending themselves each time you catch them in a lie to give the impression you are much worse as a person than they are. 
  2. As I have stated in my previous article The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 2)  and The Sociopath: A Social Terrorist (part 3) , sociopaths are masters as avoidance because they fear the truth. By not giving you closure on things they have done to you, they are affecting your psyche in ways that even you may not be able to decipher (see my article Something To Think About: Walls Were Made To Be Broken (part 1) ). If they can successfully manage to crack you up, there is less chances of anyone believing you when you telling the truth about what the sociopath has done to you. If you believe you are crazy, you start acting like you really are crazy. If you start acting like you are crazy, others will see you this way also. If the sociopath can discredit your word, they can get away with murder.

 

And I do literally mean MURDER…

R.I.P. baby

 

 

R.I.P. baby

 

 

May they all rest in peace…

 

(to be continued…)

 

 

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

A Blast From The Past

Just had to share this thought…

(and I know you’re reading this, too…)

I recently had an encounter with an ex-lover who wanted to get back together again. I’m not against reconciliations in general. By all means, I know there are some happy endings out there for those who have tried to get back together after a break up. For me, it is not that simple. The factors that broke us up in the first place are what needs to be considered first before I would even entertain the risk of allowing this person back into my life. Needless to say, this guy had quite a few irreconcilable factors working against him.

For one, I cannot stand cheaters. That, to me, is the most appalling, unnecessary, and sickening thing anyone can be. The thought of swapping germs with some stranger because your lover slept with them behind your back and has now passed their DNA on to you is so nauseating to me. I do not tolerate any excuses or reasons for cheating since I am not a cheater myself. I do not see the logic in it. I do not search for the logic in it, neither.

(Cheating is one of those deal breakers that is not acceptable as far as I am concerned. All it takes is one time, and I am done with you. No exceptions. No “oops it was an accident” alibi will be accepted. Accidents are things such as slipping on a banana peel or a patch of ice and falling. How does one accidentally slip and fall into a vagina?? Seriously?!)

Second, I cannot tolerate liars. Lies destroy any chances of me ever trusting you, even if it is a “white lie” or “small” lie when it comes to getting to know a potential lover. For me, ALL lies are dark and big in regards to relationships! Lies prevent a good, solid foundation of trust from ever forming in a relationship. Without trust, there is no relationship. You would just be a waste of my time.

Third, I do not tolerate games. I expect romance games to come from a teenager, not a x-something year old man. Find some other substantial way to get my attention or to see how I feel about you, otherwise, you can expect my interest dwindle down to zilch very quickly. Hey I have a brilliant idea; why not try ASKING ME DIRECTLY? Oh wait, you did try that when we were together, but you thought I was playing games. Now I see why; because you were playing them all along. That’s just crazy. The word “paranoid” comes to mind, and rightfully so. What goes around certainly does come back around, but I can assure you it will not be by me. Period.

Third, do not try to come back into my life just as jacked up as you were when I got you out of it. Remember, I know you well, probably better than you know yourself, and can tell when you are about to lie to me well before you can fix your mouth to say it. Your morals, principles, and standards have not changed. In fact, you never had any; it is kind of hard to fix something you never had in the first place. All that will end up happening if we did get back together is we will end up right back at square one again-broken up. And probably within the first date or two. Again, a waste of time.

Fourth, I cannot stand two-faced people; grinning in my face while you speak horrific things about another person, then going to that same person grinning in their face speaking horrific things about me to them. That is just too girly of a trait to have as a man as far as I am concerned, not to mention childish and immature. Behavior like that also makes me question whether or not if you really are a heterosexual, also. To be honest, I still do wonder…

In closing, if you do not ever hear from me again, you now know why. In case you are still in a fog as to why, I will put it to you as simply this: I do not like emotional rollercoasters. You were the worst ride anyone has ever taken me on in my life; a bunch of senseless drops, turns, and twists that had no logical point to them other than for your own sadistic, sick and twisted entertainment. I do not wish to ride that coaster again. I have learned quite a bit while on your ride, and I can say I am grateful for the lessons I have learned from it all and the precious wisdom I have gained as a result of those lessons. Ironically, your mess turned into my treasure…the hard way, yet, in the most profitable of ways that has taken me to places and introduced people into my life that I would have probably never met otherwise.

So save the speeches about how things will be different this time around, because I am the one who really has changed although you haven’t. I am not the risk-taker you once knew.

Still wishing you all the best. Have a nice life 🙂

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

Breakfast For My Ears

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. With all of its nutritional benefits, it is no wonder we run short on energy by noon when we skip this meal. My breakfast is music; its what I need to get to get motivated to start the day. Classical  music has always been my choice of music as a resort to get my head together (no matter what time of day it is), to calm my nerves, and to release tension. Supposedly, it has been scientifically proven that classical music really does have a soothing effect on animals, babies, and apparently on elevator riders… and I have to say this is so true.

There is something about this piece that just hits me right down to the soul. There is something about the way these notes flow together that has a tranquilizing effect. Perfect for the start of any day…

Don’t get me wrong; yes I do eat. However, my ears need “nutrition” when I first wake up as well. The rumble in my ears is much louder than in my tummy in the mornings; a sign that they crave hearing something sensual…

Hope you all can join me for breakfast one morning 🙂

© 2013 Learus Ohnine