The Real World vs The Taught World

Throughout our educational years, we have been taught by our instructors that we can become whomever we want to be, we can achieve any dream we wish to achieve, and we can have anything we want to have. Our educators encourage us to dream big, to never give up, and to strive for success by reaching the top of the ladder in society with hard work and dedication. We are pre-programmed to think the recipe to make our dreams a reality is a dose of perseverance, an ounce of faith, and a smidgen of determination is all that’s needed to make them come true…along with a good, quality education of course. But the one thing that is not taught is the fact that our perception of how things SHOULD be and the reality of how things WILL be are two separate entities, that if ignored, is the recipe for disappointment.

The depressing reality is: half of today’s college graduates are working in jobs that are not in their chosen field or may be overqualified for, are making less money than what they’re worth, and are sacrificing a majority of their hard-earned income into repaying student loans for an occupation they were told would put a substantial amount of money in their pockets in order to cover their post-education expenses. In a 2012 McKinsey & Company survey, along with the collaboration of Chegg, Inc., 4,900 college graduates expressed their regrets of what they envisioned reality to be like after four years of higher learning. 48% of U.S. college graduates were employed in jobs that did not require a four-year degree while 32% of graduates were actually working in their field of expertise. Out of the 72% of college graduates who were required to complete an internship in their chose field of study, only 42% reported their internships have landed them a job. This means either 30% of these college graduates were either out of work or underemployed.

As the competition stiffens within the workforce, so does the number of available jobs for college graduates decrease. Of course, this all depends on one’s major, with the visual and performing arts being the most difficult to break into while science, engineering, and technology provide the most satisfactory results for job seekers. But with today’s economy, even choosing the “right” major still does not guarantee a stable job. Higher education institutions overlook this fact when promoting idealizations of reality in exchange for a signed promissory note. What appears to be achievable through hard work, dedication, and persistence is not always what will be attainable in the end.

©2013 Learus Ohnine

The Realization Of Character

Everything we do starts with words. Words will determine who we are. Whatever we think we are, we will become. It is no wonder why we see so many people who struggle with low self-esteem, but that is such an extensive topic that I will save for a later discussion.

I am sure you all have heard the “formula” for how one’s character comes into fruition and the end result of where our character will lead us. If not, I will briefly go over the famous formula in order of importance:

“Words = Thoughts”

“Thoughts = Actions”

“Actions = Habits”

“Habits = Behaviors”

“Behaviors = Character”

“Character = Our Destiny”

“Words = Thoughts”: Words will determine your thoughts. Words are very powerful. Like it says in the Bible, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…” (Proverbs 18:21). When we insult someone, we are killing them figuratively. When we compliment someone, we are giving them life. It does not matter if words are spoken or written; they will have the same affect on the listener and/or reader. We begin to think exactly what words tell us to think. We should be aware of what we say to one another as well as what we hear and read because once we let those words take root into our minds, we become those words.

“Thoughts = Actions”: Our thoughts have a heavy impact on the things we do. Most all of our actions start with our thoughts.  We can think ourselves into motivation, inspiration, encouragement, and so on. On the other hand, we can think ourselves into procrastination, depression, discouragement, and so on. Our thoughts will determine what we will do next.

“Actions = Habits”: Our actions will become our habits. Have you ever met someone who seemed impossible to change the way they think about themselves? They have learned to adapt to a particular way of thinking that their whole life is arranged around their thought processes.  They withdraw instead of socializing. They retreat when faced with challenges. They may have been told time and time again that they are stupid or a failure, and so they tend to believe those words without applying themselves to rise above the adversity of those words. That is because they have become so comfortable in thinking what they think is true, it has become a habit. Habits are hard to break.

“Habits = Behaviors”: Habits develop into behaviors. Hurting people hurt other people. It is just that simple. Very rarely have I come across an angry individual who goes out of their way to make others happy. In fact, I have seen hurting people deliberately hurt others to bring them down and have said this somehow makes them feel better knowing someone else is hurting just as much as they are. I suppose this would account for the numerous abuse  and murder cases in the world today because this seems to be the only outlet a hurting person knows, trusts, and feels comfortable in doing. It is a horrible habit that, unfortunately, has become a behavior that is justified in their minds.

“Behaviors = Character”: Our behavior determines our character. People are known for what they do. Someone who carries a reputation for lying, stealing and cheating has built that reputation centered around those actions. The same goes for someone who has proven to be trustworthy, honest and caring. People are more drawn to these traits. Our character derives from the behaviors we set forth and also determine the type of characters we draw to us.

“Character = Destiny”: The kind of character we build for ourselves will determine our destiny. For example, if we are a well disciplined individual, chances are we will go far in life. We will resist the temptation to procrastinate in order to get things done. However, if we are lazy, we may not accomplish much in life due to neglecting important responsibilities. This is why it is so important to take heed as to the people who you allow in your life because they, too, can determine your destiny…

(to be continued…)

© 2013 Learus Ohnine

Work and Romance: Can they mix?

Would you date someone who works at your job? I always get mixed answers when I ask this question. Most of the answers I get are all based around an office cliché that you should never date someone at your job, well, just because you should never date someone at your job. Period. That was the most common answer coming from those whom have had failed romances involving a fellow coworker. It is as if they have dismissed all the factual reasons behind why their romance really did not turn out as they hoped it would, and instead have opted for the easiest most blameless rational they could think of: you should never date someone at your job.  Each individual had their own rationale behind why dating should not be something that happens in within the work environment, and their rationales make sense. While I can respect their perspectives, I have my own opinions that are in opposition as to why I do not agree with some of their rationales, like:

It does not look professional when you date someone who works at your job

Who says the entire staff has to know? Whatever you do in your personal life does not have to broadcasted across the office floor.  Nobody has to know your business. A romance involves two people, not every name listed on the payroll system, and you do not need their approval to make it happen.

If the romance falls apart, it will be difficult to work next to the other person

Not necessarily. If this is a true concern, bring it to the forefront in the beginning of the romance and discuss how the two of you will address the situation should it ever occur. A majority of beginning work-related romances do not think of the future in terms of “the end” anyway, so it would be in the best interest of both individuals involved to be aware of the impact a breakup will have on each other if the romance were to dissolve.

A romance between coworkers is doomed from the start just because they work together

I cannot understand why. Whatever your partner does behind your back, he/she will do it regardless of whether or not you two work at the same job. Whatever actions a person does when they think no one is watching, be it good or bad, is done because it is a part of their character. If your partner is a dishonest person,  they will be that way no matter where they work at. If your partner is an honest person, they will be that way no matter where they work at. Both partners should be clear and precise on boundaries (if any), what they have to offer, what they expect in return, and what they will and will not tolerate. This is standard issue in any romance.

All in all, I personally think any romance can work regardless of where it originates. When two people decided to join together, no influence can tear their union apart unless they allow it. The same principle applies when two people decide to separate; no influence can bind that union back together again unless they allow it. It is all a matter of choice.

With that being said, I do not think anyone can help with whom they fall in love with and should not be penalized for it because of a cliche.

Agree or disagree?

“In My Jammies”

I miss my jammies
Every morning when I leave;
Sure wish I had my jammies
At work, at school, at league

Wanna take my jammies
Wherever I go;
But my jammies don’t like it
In rain, in sleet, in snow

Can’t wait to get my jammies
Back over my head
All it takes is three moves;
My shirt, my pants, my bed

That’s where my jammies
First fell in love with me;
All night we were one
With pillows, with blanket, with sheet

My jammies don’t need rest
They stay awake all night;
Protecting all around me
The left, the rear, the right

If I replaced my jammies
Sleep could never keep me sane;
‘Cause the kind of dreams they show me of
No worry, no fear, no pain

I’m gonna marry my jammies
As soon as it’s legal;
Maybe we can adopt kids named
Lil’ Snuggy, Lil’ Fleece, Lil’ Flannel

© 2013 Learus Ohnine